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Speaking truth to Dad – talking to Dad about his health

Speaking truth to Dad – talking to Dad about his health

Trying to talk to Dad about his health can be a fraught business. Professor PHILLIP MORGAN offers a few suggestions, based on his experience running programs for parents and children.

One of the secrets of success in our programs for families is that the child and the father are together. This is important because it’s really hard for parents to come home and say something like “guess what – no screens anymore, guys!” There’s always a kind of resistance. But when you’re together in the program, it’s presented in a way that feels like a discussion. “What would be a good rule? Should we have a rule about no screens before breakfast?”

It’s about a sense of shared ownership and communication about why you have a rule and why it’s important. If a parent came alone to the program and went home with new rules about health and activity, the kids would say “What the hell are you talking about?”

I think adult children need to remember that when talking to their parents. No grandparent or parent of adult children wants to have the finger pointed at them. No matter what age they are, nobody wants to be told what they’re doing wrong.

What we talk about is the nudge. Suggesting things like “so there could be this thing” or “did you hear about this?” It helps if the program you’re alluding to is both specific to men and targeted at the specific age of your dad. If it’s a program for elderly or senior men, then it comes with the promise of social support.

So if you’re looking to talk to your dad about his health, see if you can find a specific program, nudge him towards it and do the program together. Even if a program isn’t available, it can help talking about making health changes in the third person – “some people have tried this”, rather than “you should try this”. That way you might avoid the resistance when an adult child tells their parent to do something.

Have questions about diabetes?

If you’re worried about your dad’s health or have questions about diabetes, our Diabetes WA Helpline team can help.

Call 1300 001 880 Monday to Friday, 8.30am to 4.30pm, to speak with one of our friendly team.  

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Diabetes WA acknowledge and recognise Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the Traditional Owners and Custodians of the lands where we live, learn and work.

We pay respects and acknowledge the important role of Elders past and present, for they hold the memories of the traditions, cultures, and aspirations of Australia’s First Nations peoples, and have taken on the responsibility to protect and promote our culture and leave a legacy for future Elders and leaders. We acknowledge any Sorry Business that may be affecting individuals, families, and communities at this time. As an organisation, we understand the impact that diabetes has on Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples across Australia and as such we promise to be respectful, take lead from the community and walk together with Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples, communities, and organisations in our journey to reducing the impact of diabetes for the First Peoples of Australia.